The pain of finding out you’re going the wrong direction


Most people are surprised to get a response when they send me an email, but I’m always happy to point someone in the right direction if they’re struggling to achieve their health or fitness goal.

Recently, a woman by the name of – well actually I can’t tell you her name because she got SO mad at me that she denied permission to use her name (I don’t actually need her permission since she emailed me, but out of respect for her craziness, I won’t use her real name) – so let’s just call her Jane.

Jane told me she was struggling to lose weight, so I asked her to tell me a little bit about herself.

The following conversation ensued:

JANE: Little about me I guess. I’m 5 ft 8 inches, my goal weight is 9 stone 5 lbs (131 lbs), I have around two stone (28 lbs) to go. Exercise – I horse ride sporadically at the moment and I do yoga…I also do some free weights. I am not dieting as such as I’m portion controlling, but I do love food…I also bake.

ME: Well, you need to come up with a very clear goal – is it weight loss? If so, how dedicated are you to achieving that goal? I say this because you’re not going to lose fat by consuming dairy and eating wheat/sugar on a regular basis.

JANE: I do eat dairy am sorry but females get most of their collagen through eggs etc.

Notice that almost immediately Jane is becoming defensive about her choices, even though she already admitted that she’s struggling to lose weight.

Let’s see what happens next:

ME: Eggs are not dairy, there’s nothing wrong with having a few eggs a day. Dairy comes from the mammary glands of mammals (e.g. cows, goats, sheep, etc.) Eggs come from fowl, which don’t have mammary glands.

JANE: Sorry I don’t eat enough bread or sugar to give it up, we all need a healthy balanced diet I think and everyone does it differently.

ME: Being real honest – have you ever read a book or attended a course on nutrition?

Before I tell you what she said, try and put yourself in Jane’s shoes.

You’re struggling to lose weight, you’re emailing someone who’s helped tons of people lose weight, and asking him for advice, and that person is telling you that you need to make some changes and highlighting that you’ve been going down the wrong path for awhile now.

How would you respond – would you be glad to learn the truth and get started on the right path ASAP, or would you lash out at that person for telling you that you’ve been going the wrong way?

Let’s see how Jane responded:

JANE: I honestly didn’t come on your site to be preached at .. you may cut dairy sugar wheat from your diet but here’s a question, do you drink beer?? As we all know how they’re made. My weight had nothing really to do with my diet .. it was my inability to exercise. Plus I will be honest here; I am not giving you legal entitlement to blog my name nor my circumstances on your site.


Sadly, getting mad at someone for telling you the truth is about as reasonable as getting mad at Google Maps for saying you turned the wrong direction.

So what did I do after Jane said that?

I immediately ceased all communication and added Jane to my DO NOT SELL list.

Jane will never be permitted to buy any product or course I sell – I don’t waste my time arguing with people who don’t know what they’re talking about and aren’t interested in fixing their problems. I want to focus my efforts on helping the dedicated few who are actually interested in solving their problems, is that you?

Tell me one goal you’re trying to achieve

In the spirit of helping the dedicated few who are willing to take action, what is one goal you’ve been struggling to achieve recently?

What makes achieving this goal so challenging for you?

Send me an email or post it in the comments below.


  1. Karen Nicole López Dominguez says:

    Hi, I was reading your article and i was wondering, should I cut all dairy products from my diet to loose weight? I usually have a granola with milk or a yogurt with oatmeal in the mornings.

    My goal is to achieve a flat belly.

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